Check Up or Check Out...
Dear Readers,
In light of criticism from my sister (something along the lines of "it's not your place to comment on women's health issues.") I have decided to write a post about men's health issues.
For the sake of this post, I have assembled a "Top 9 List of Male Health Problems". The list is as follows:
9. Skin Cancer - Both men and women should conduct monthly self-exams to check for skin cancer. Check all parts of the body for new growths and skin changes. Most people have dark spots on their skin including moles, freckles and birthmarks. Most of these spots are normal but some may be skin cancer. Spots that are very large, or have an uneven border or colour should be checked by a doctor as soon as possible. Other warning signs include spots that are asymmetrical or ones that grow or change rapidly.
8. Testicular Cancer - Tom Green, comedian and survivor of testicular cancer has this to say: "Hey kids rub your balls, squeeze your balls, please your balls. Please feel your balls every day so you don't get cancer!" Tom's right, regular self-examinations are the key. Feel your balls carefully with your fingertips, if you feel any lumps, or anything else that doesn't seem like it should be there, go to the doctor. It's all fun and games until someone loses a nut.
7. Dental Problems - Many doctors agree that oral health is an excellent indicator of overall health. Go to the Dentist at least once a year. Brush your teeth at least twice a day with a fluoride toothpaste. Floss daily. For tips on how to brush and floss properly (yes, there is a "proper" way), visit http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_body/take_care/teeth.html.
6. Prostate Cancer - Prostate problems include inflammation, enlargement, and cancer. Prostate cancer is the most deadly cancer for men in North America. Men over the age of 45 should go for a prostate-specific antigen (PSA) blood test and digital rectal exam (DRE) once a year. Pooping is fun, but not if you have prostate cancer. For more information on prostate health, visit http://www.prostate.com.
5. Colorectal Cancer - Cancer of the bum sucks, as it makes pooping very painful and can also cause death. Bloody poop, diarrhea, and constipation are just some of the early warning signs of colorectal cancer. Screening for this type of cancer includes the "poop on paper" test, and the anal Pap smear. Talk to your doctor.
4. Sexually Transmitted Infections - It is ironic how a night of pleasure can result in a lifetime of pain, or worse. Don't be a fool, wrap your tool. No glove, no love. Need I say more?
3. Obesity - Diet alone is never enough. Please get active and stay active. There aren't very many good-looking women out there with lard-ass fetishes, go get in shape. Being even a little overweight can lead to many serious health problems.
2. Cholesterol - Remember: LDL is "bad" cholesterol; HDL is "good" cholesterol! Don't mix 'em up.
1. Blood Pressure - Normal rates should be below 120/80 mmHg. Talk to your doctor; Canadian Idol is coming on in 5 minutes and I don't have time to look up information for you.
Take care of yourself, etc.
Peace & Love,
J. S. Buchanan
In light of criticism from my sister (something along the lines of "it's not your place to comment on women's health issues.") I have decided to write a post about men's health issues.
For the sake of this post, I have assembled a "Top 9 List of Male Health Problems". The list is as follows:
9. Skin Cancer - Both men and women should conduct monthly self-exams to check for skin cancer. Check all parts of the body for new growths and skin changes. Most people have dark spots on their skin including moles, freckles and birthmarks. Most of these spots are normal but some may be skin cancer. Spots that are very large, or have an uneven border or colour should be checked by a doctor as soon as possible. Other warning signs include spots that are asymmetrical or ones that grow or change rapidly.
8. Testicular Cancer - Tom Green, comedian and survivor of testicular cancer has this to say: "Hey kids rub your balls, squeeze your balls, please your balls. Please feel your balls every day so you don't get cancer!" Tom's right, regular self-examinations are the key. Feel your balls carefully with your fingertips, if you feel any lumps, or anything else that doesn't seem like it should be there, go to the doctor. It's all fun and games until someone loses a nut.
7. Dental Problems - Many doctors agree that oral health is an excellent indicator of overall health. Go to the Dentist at least once a year. Brush your teeth at least twice a day with a fluoride toothpaste. Floss daily. For tips on how to brush and floss properly (yes, there is a "proper" way), visit http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_body/take_care/teeth.html.
6. Prostate Cancer - Prostate problems include inflammation, enlargement, and cancer. Prostate cancer is the most deadly cancer for men in North America. Men over the age of 45 should go for a prostate-specific antigen (PSA) blood test and digital rectal exam (DRE) once a year. Pooping is fun, but not if you have prostate cancer. For more information on prostate health, visit http://www.prostate.com.
5. Colorectal Cancer - Cancer of the bum sucks, as it makes pooping very painful and can also cause death. Bloody poop, diarrhea, and constipation are just some of the early warning signs of colorectal cancer. Screening for this type of cancer includes the "poop on paper" test, and the anal Pap smear. Talk to your doctor.
4. Sexually Transmitted Infections - It is ironic how a night of pleasure can result in a lifetime of pain, or worse. Don't be a fool, wrap your tool. No glove, no love. Need I say more?
3. Obesity - Diet alone is never enough. Please get active and stay active. There aren't very many good-looking women out there with lard-ass fetishes, go get in shape. Being even a little overweight can lead to many serious health problems.
2. Cholesterol - Remember: LDL is "bad" cholesterol; HDL is "good" cholesterol! Don't mix 'em up.
1. Blood Pressure - Normal rates should be below 120/80 mmHg. Talk to your doctor; Canadian Idol is coming on in 5 minutes and I don't have time to look up information for you.
Take care of yourself, etc.
Peace & Love,
J. S. Buchanan
posted by buchanan | 7/26/2005 07:19:00 PM
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