The United Alberta Emerates

Dear Readers,

Now Alberta is poised to reap the biggest bonanza in its history, an economic jackpot giant enough to fundamentally shift the balance of wealth and power westward. The province can control its own destiny more than any other because, in the years to come, Canada will need Alberta far more than Alberta will need the rest of Canada. What remains to be seen is whether the gift of the oil sands will secure the country's prosperity for generations to come, or be the force that finally pushes the straining seams of federalism to their breaking point. - Macleans Magazine, 13 Jun 05

I am taking a fatalistic view of this one. I'm pretty sure we're all hella-fucked. I think that now would be a good time to abolish provincial boundaries and have only a Northern Canada (we'll call it "The Place Where Savages Eat Raw Meat"), and a Southern Canada (we'll call it "J. S. Buchananland"). That way J. S. Buchananland could reap the economic benefits of Alberta's oilsands without having to beg for transfer payments, and The Place Where Savages Eat Raw Meat could eat their raw meat in peace. Also, prostitution and marijuana should be legalized. Also, Stephen Harper dressing up as a cowboy should be banned (see Oxynova.com).

Peace & Love,

J. S. Buchanan